Monday, 18 January 2010

the Heathly Marriage by Nouman Ali Khan: my personal review

Salam wbt @ Peace to everyone..

Ahaa, it seems more than a week that I wrote nothing in this blog.. right? Does it matter to you, sis and bros? J (hihi.. a cruel question actually) Anyway, what always bear in my mind.. that does matter to some of my beautiful and sweet friends... and.. I really love them for keep helping me to maintain my writing momentum, mood and sincerity with all your inspirational words.. Insya-allah.. May ALLAH bless you always, sweethearts...

Anyway.. here.. again.. I would like to share a video... a talk actually... To be frank... it’s not because I have no idea to write here.. (like some people did put a video just for the sake of updating their blogs) Indeed, insya-allah... I have made long ago that.. one of my blogging principles is not to copy paste others’ works without any further comments or reflections or acknowledgement to the sources, so, insya-allah.. with HIS willingness.... I will always keep myself to that principle.

So, here you are.. a video of a talk by one of my favourite speaker Nouman Ali Khan, a muslim from USA.. I suggest, you enjoy listening to his first.. before further reading my post.. can you? nothing actually... just because I have lots of things to share based on his words in this video...

Here are the sharing of my personal review and reflection on this video...

  • How you should deal with the typical non-muslims’ questions

Well.. why I personally put as typical? Cause, it’s really really typical.. no matter where you are.. in Malaysia.. Or in Britain.. Or even in the USA... I believe in majority cases...the same questions are being posed to us, the Muslims... and, I agree as bro Nouman said, ‘why we should look as a criminal being asked to proof you’re innocent..? as we are Innocent.. we are Muslims!’, ‘why we should panic?’, ‘why we should bother to give them all the answers... as they just keep asking us one to another questions...?’ And, I love to say that I totally agree.. instead of we made ourselves answering the questions.. why not we pose them back??

So, here, I would like to share with you the experiences of some of us.. living in Plymouth, dealing those questions.. mostly from the school students and primary or secondary schools.. or some from the cleaning colleagues.. Whenever people asked us, ‘why are you wearing the scarf?’ or ‘why do you need to cover yourself?’.. Instead we keep trying to answer it.. we did try to pose them back questions.. without answering theirs immediately.. like for example.. ‘Have you ever seen what the Virgin Mary wore during her life?’ ‘and, why do you think she did so?’ Ahaa.. guess what their response will be? Well, most of the cases... We’ve seen, how stumble they are... struggling to answer the questions... and often, they just say.. ‘oh, it’s okay..’ and ran away.. So, sometimes.. for me, I really think.. it’s not necessarily we try to answer their typical questions... Instead.. help them to think... what they should’ve been thinking... (by questioning them) isn’t it? *winks* wallahua’lam..

  • Hopes that being placed to other than ALLAH swt WILL absolutely, necessarily make you disappointed.

This word is really really applicable reminder to us in anywhere and in anytime. This is actually, the catchiest word I found from whole lots of his talk actually.

Let me share you a story. There was a lady, a good muslim lady. She had no boyfriend, and just wanting to have a ‘halal’ boyfriend which was a good muslim husband. In her mind, ‘it’s okay for me not to have a boyfriend now, because to have a husband in future is much more better.’ In her mind, marriage is all about love and happiness. Never like coupling, full of frustrations and headaches.

Then, Alhamdulillah, she got married to a good Muslim guy. Yea, he’s a good one... but, you know.. no one perfect.. so, this man could not really spend so much time with his wife because of his other obligations.. especially to his work, community and etc.. Although he did spend his time.. but not so much time.. as what the wife expected. So, this Muslim lady became frustrated.. and all her frustrations, then, lead to arguments.. and worse to worst, the arguments leads to separations and also divorce.. (Nauzubillah)..

So.. what a sad story happens in Muslims community we had.. although it’s not totally real one.. but, similar story does happen often.. in anywhere and every where... every day.. and I face it often.. very often..

Well, so, what should we say here? The beginning of this lady’s life had sounded right... isn’t it? Yea.. She’d chosen not to experience the love before marriage.. and.. hoping that her husband is the one who would bring her happiness and love..

Oh, wait.. that’s not really right, wasn’t it? if we think back deeply... there was something wrong there...

Back to my head point where I quoted from bro Nuoman, ‘Hopes that being placed to other than ALLAH swt WILL absolutely, necessarily make you disappointed. ‘ So, here... this lady had accidently put her hope to other than ALLAH swt (Nauzubillah).. which is to her future husband.. she was hoping that through her husband, she’ll find the true love and happiness... so.. it’s not a surprise for her to be frustrated by her hope... cause.. that’s not uncommon.. to be frustrated when we put our hope to other that ALLAH to give us the two most beautiful elements in our life; ‘love’ and ‘happiness’. Instead, ONLY ALLAH who would never left us with disappointment...

So.. especially to myself, let us put our FULL HOPE and TRUST ONLY to ALLAH Swt.. in everything in anything we do, we expect or we longed for.. Insya-allah, although we might or might not get what we want.. but STILL.. ALLAH would NEVER frustrates us.. Insya-allah...

  • ‘Marriage is not similar like ‘dating’!’

I love when he said, ‘marriage is not similar like ‘dating’!’ though I have never been experiencing dating.. (Alhamdulillah, and nauzubillah..) but I’ve seen how vulnerable the dating is for most of the people here.. in Britain is.. It is really really common to find a family contains unmarried couples where they call themselves as ‘civil partners’ who have kids with different surnames as they’ve been mingled with different partners or x-spouses before they got settle down with this latest one... Oh, my.. what a complicated life they had...!

So, as a muslim... so as you... I think.. once we say or think of about marriage.. please.. we are saying about a life-long-lasting relationship.. we are not saying the same thing as they non-believers said... the need of the understanding of the reasons for marriage must be really really CLEAR..

Marriage is not the ultimate solution if there is no understanding and practice of TAQWA @ Fear God

  • Our Deen first and foremost is about our responsibilities to full fill our obligations to SERVE ALLAH swt, not ourselves!

Not so much words I can say here.. but absolutely, I love this word. It’s such an honour for the Muslimahs.. cause he seems trying to make everyone realize.. especially the men, not to use the verses of the LORD for themselves, meanwhile their other obligations were not even completed yet!

Subhanallah.. how FAIR and EQUAL ALLAH is! I Luv Allah, and I Luv Islam!

  • Follow the sunnah.. insya-allah, there will be the barakah within your marriage life..

Anyway, I’m not married yet. But, his word about a simple sunnah (smiling wife) really made me ponder.. how even such a simple or little thing that sometimes we overlooked on it.. when is has been mentioned by the Messenger of ALLAH, it shows how big the effect brought by it.. Subhanallah.. What more other lots of sunnahs of him...? Wouldn’t it be more barakah in our life if we get to make ourselves used to most of his Sunnahs? Masya-allah..

Let’s follow the sunnah of HIS messenger in order to gain HIS PLEASURE...!


Okay.. I think, that's all.. insya-allah.. for this time...quite long this post, isn't it..?

Anyway.. hope both of us will get something from this sharing...


With Luv n Care,

Servant of God

Plymouth, UK

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