Coretan ringkas di hujung tahun

“Hari ni berapa haribulan ya sayang?”

“26 Disember.” Jawabku ringkas.

Pertanyaan zauj saya secara tiba-tiba itu benar-benar membuat saya terdiam muhasabah.

Subhanallah. Cepat sungguh masa berlalu. Hanya tinggal 5 hari lagi tahun Miladiyah akan bertukar angka.

Tiba-tiba juga hati dan minda berefleksi – apakah yang telah diri lalui sepanjang 2011 ini?

Subhanallah. Satu demi satu ni’mat ALLAH yang tak terhitung nilainya hadir di depan mata.

Ya, tahun 2011 benar-benar sangat bermakna untuk saya. Mana taknya. Pelbagai perubahan fasa saya lalui sepanjang tahun ini.

Daripada status seorang gadis, kepada status seorang wanita bernikah.

Daripada status seorang wanita bernikah, kepada status seorang bakal ibu.

Daripada status seorang pelajar, kepada status seorang pendidik (praktikal).

Daripada status seorang pendidik, kepada status surirumah (menunggu posting).

Dan sungguh saya akui setiap satu fasa perubahan itu, terlalu banyak ni’mat ALLAH kepada saya.

Subhanallah. Maha suci ALLAH Yang Maha Baik.

Masih terkenang saat diri menangis pada malam sebelum akad nikah, sampai dipujuk kakanda solehah Nabilah Iskandar.

Masih terkenang saat diri teruja menerima berita hamil 5 minggu.

Masih terkenang saat diri muntah-muntah di bilik asrama, bertemankan 2 teman istimewa saya, kak long dan izzah farhani yang sabar menyokong saya sepanjang praktikal.

Masih terkenang saat diri tertunggu-tunggu zauj datang ke asrama setiap minggu.

Masih terkenang saat diri hampir putus asa untuk melalui fasa praktikum dek kerana diri semakin tak larat.

SUbhnallah. Maha suci ALLAH.

Dan saat ini, semuanya telah selesai.

Alhamdulillah, saat ini telahku tamatkan zaman pengajian dan fasa praktikal dengan baik sekali.

Alhamdulillah, saat ini telahku berada di samping zauj tercinta.

Alhamdulillah, saat ini telah hampir 9 bulan kandunganku, hanya tinggal saat menanti detik menyambut si kecil hamba ALLAh ke dunia ini. Insya-allah.

Lantas, apa yang boleh saya simpulkan daripada setiap pencapaian dan pengalaman saya sepanjang tahun 2011 ini?

Sungguh tidak ada daya dan upaya sedikitpun melainkan segalanya daripada ALLAH swt.


Dan, CUKUPLAH HANYA ALLAH bagiku.

Ya, cukuplah hanya ALLAH bagiku dalam melalui setiap fasa kehidupan. Terlalu banyak perkara yang saya rasakan seakan mustahil untuk berlaku telahpun berlaku. Alhamdulillah, ALLAHlah sebaik-baik tempat kembali. Tidak ada yang mustahil apabila kita bergantung penuh hanya sanya kepada-Nya. Insya-allah. 

Ketahuilah teman pembaca,

Jika saat ini banyak perkara yang kau rasakan mustahil, kembalilah kepada-Nya dengan kerendahan jiwa dan ketundukan hati.

CUKUPLAH HANYA ALLAH tempat kita bergantung.

Kerana HANYA ALLAH-lah, RABB YANG MAHA BERKUASA ATAS SEGALA SESUATU.

Kerana HANYA ALLAH-lah, RABB YANG MAHA TAHU apa YANG TERBAIK untuk setiap kita.

Insya-allah, kembalilah pada-Nya.

Kerana hanya pada-Nya, setiap kita akan temui BAHAGIA.

Akhir kata, mohon maaf atas apa sahaja kelemahan saya yang terzahir di hadapan kalian yang saya bersama secara ‘in person’ atau di alam maya. Moga ALLAh ampuni setiap kelemahan dan kesalahan saya sepanjang tahun 2011 itu. Dan terima kasih banyak-banyak kepada mereka yang telah membantu memberi sokongan dan dorongan kepada saya sepanjang tahun ini. Moga ALLAH menganjari kalian dengan sebaik-baik ganjaran. Harapan saya, moga-moga tahun 2012 yang akan hadir akan terus menjadi medan untuk setiap kita terus mencari bekal buat bertemu dengan-Nya.

Sekian, Wallahua’lam.

Sincere Servant

Kampung Paya Batu, Kota Bharu, Kelantan.

A Real Blessing

Alhamdulillah - Having him/her inside me is the best blessing ever!

“Are you expecting, my dear?” asked a friend of mine. I smiled.

“Alhamdulillah. And, it’ll be not so long. Just two months to go. Insya-allah.”

“Subhanallah, Mabrook (congratulation)! Take a good care on you and him or her.”

“Thanks, sis. Insya-allah, will always do so. Do pray for me yea.”

Yup. There will be just another two months to go, after 7 months I have been carrying this little bundle of joy. Allah knows best what is going to happen next. Now, I am already used to his/ her kicking, punching and etc. And, don’t say about experiencing cramping, insomnia, fatigue and so on. I’ve been going through those things for more than half a year!

When my husband asked me what am I feeling right now, all I can say is;

“I’m getting nervous and nervous – preparing myself to face two extremely important possibilities. Either Allah will take me to Him before or during delivery. Or, Allah will grant me the chance to be the mother to His ‘Abd. And, both require me to be really really prepared!”

He looked at me and said, “Honey, I always pray that both of you will be safe, insya-allah.”

Anyway, in this post, actually I would like to share what did I learn throughout my 7 months of pregnancy (not include delivery yet).

Wonders of human creation

“And certainly did We create man from an extract of clay. Then We placed him as a sperm-drop in a firm lodging. Then We made the sperm-drop into a clinging clot, and We made the clot into a lump [of flesh], and We made [from] the lump, bones, and We covered the bones with flesh; then We developed him into another creation. So blessed is Allah , the best of creators.” 
(Surah Almukminoon 23: 12-14)

I have been reading those verses since I was little. And, I have been watching the videos on the wonders of human creations for more than hundreds times.

Yet, the feeling when I first got to see him/her inside me would never be the same. It was really really special. I was extremely amazed on how Allah’s power on creating a human being inside a human being (me).

Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar.

Why not?

It was from nothing (you know what I mean) to something precious – a human being, with two legs, two eyes, two hands, two ears!

Me, as the mother, could do nothing. I am just the carrier, the carrier of ALLAH’s creation. Yes, I do try my best to take care of my health. Yet, I can do nothing to his/her development inside me. The making of his/her bloods, tissues, bonds, eyes, legs, gender and other magnificent organs are all up to the POWER of his CREATOR! Everything that is now happening to him/her is only under ALLAH’s POWER, CHOICE, MERCY and LOVE.   

This reminds me to a word of wisdom from my beloved mum;

“It was really really unfair for us to feel proud and superior for the outlooks we have. Indeed, we have never owned any ‘share’ in the creation of ourselves. Not even our mum, or our dad. It was all Allah’s gift to test us; whether we want to thank HIM and be His good ‘Abd, or the other way round.”

“My daughter, be the thankful ‘Abd to HIM. You would find HIM as ‘ash-shakoor’ @ the most thankful. If you thank HIM, He will THANK YOU even more, and grant you much more happiness. (check this in Surah Luqman, verse 12) Insya-allah.”

As a mother to be now, insya-allah, the same words I will tell my children. Indeed, I have no share on the creation of my own little bundle of joy. Everything is Allah’s and He is the BEST.

Wahnan a’la wahnin

Throughout my pregnancy, another Quran verse that really caught my feeling deeply is Surra Luqman, verse 14;

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.”

Where Allah, the ALL-LOVING CREATOR has already regarded a mother’s continues sacrifice throughout the pregnancy by the word of ‘wahnan a’la wahnin’.

Throughout my first trimester, I felt really tired. And I thought that was really bad enough. But then, as I got to the second trimester, the tiredness was even worse. And, I experienced the vomiting and the lost of appetite. And, again I thought that was bad enough. Yet, as I got into the third trimester, I almost cannot describe how tired and painful I felt all along the day. it was really really ‘wahnan a’la wahnin’…!

This really reminds me to my mum, again. When I was little, she always said to me,

“I am not going to be worry of my daughters. Soon, as they got married, they would be close to me more. What more when they got pregnant, they would even appreciate me much much more.”

Yes, indeed, mum. I’m getting to appreciate you more and more, understand you more and more and loving you more and more. Alhamdulillah. May ALLAH bless you for each and every thing you have done your best to me.

A wonderful husband

As far as I am concerned, many girls when they are asked the kind of husbands they would wish for, would concern more on the husbands’ outlook.

Well, some of them got the point when they said; “you are going to see your husband every day. Imagine if the person’s outlook was really bad. Would you be able to cope with him well?”

Some of them even said to me, having a wealthy man as the husband is the best. This is because you can get what you wished from him.

Well, for me none of those characteristics were really important. Throughout my pregnancy experience, I learned that the kind of husband that women should wish for.

He is the one who is being extremely patient, loving and helpful to you, the wife as well as the mum to be. As when you were really tired and moody (due to your pregnancy), you definitely will forget about your husband’s outlook and how much money he has in his pocket!

Believe me, all you will concern is how well he treats you, as the mother to his children.

Throughout my pregnancy, usually I feel really hard to control my emotion, although I always try my best. Alhamdulillah, my beloved husband does understand this.

Sometimes, I cry for no reason, he lovingly hugs me.
Sometimes, I say inappropriate things, he patiently listens to me.
Sometimes, I become extremely tired, he helps me with the house chores.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Thank you ALLAH for giving me a very wonderful husband.

Conclusion

Pregnancy is a real blessing from ALLAH. And women are the chosen gender to hold this important and special task. And, Alhamdulillah, Allah has given me the chance to be the one. It was a real blessing from ALLAH to be chosen to bear the task of being the carrier of HIS ‘Abd.

• To all mums in the world, especially my beloved mum, I really salute you for what you have gone through to be the best as you can. May ALLAh, the ALL-LOVING LORD will bless and reward you with the best reward, the Jannah (paradise).
• To ladies in general, you should begin to pray to be one of the chosen persons… Indeed, pregnancy (in Halal way) is a real great experience!
• To those who have not yet get the chance, don’t be sad… Insya-allah, ALLAH knows BEST!

Wallahua’lam.

p/s: please pray for the best for my delivery phase... 

Sincere Servant,
Kota Bharu, Kelantan